Monday, October 25, 2010

My Marriage


Here's the man I'm lucky enough to be married to. He's as beautiful inside as he is on the outside. I found him when I was only 16 and I've spent the last 27 years being in love with him. This photo was taken on his birthday in July, less than a week before our 22nd anniversary. If I were to choose one word to describe him I would choose the word SERVICE. This man is always doing something for others. He has the gift of knowing what is required or wanted and then DOING it. He really does live his life in the service of others. Even his working life is spent serving: in the medical industry and in the teaching profession. At work he does over and above what he is paid for. He serves his students, his patients and his co-workers. He is a man who gives all of his personal time to me, his children, his extended family, his friends and acquaintances and his church. And he is especially good to me. He shops, he cooks, he cleans, he preserves food, he plans menus, he folds clothes, he maintains the garden, he listens, he gives advice when asked, he takes me out, he brings me flowers, he laughs with me, he scratches my back, he does his utmost to make me happy. I am very grateful for him.

I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants the other day and I read this scripture. It is the Lord, speaking to Joseph Smith's wife, Emma:

"And the office of thy calling shall be for a comfort unto . . . thy husband, in his afflictions, with consoling words, in the spirit of meekness." (D&C 25:5)

As scriptures so often do, this one spoke to me directly. That week I had been feeling sorry for myself, feeling I was overburdened, feeling my personal needs were unmet, beginning to blame my husband for some of this. I think my feelings were hormonal (gotta have some excuse!!), but this scripture was just what I needed to remind me of one of my purposes in life. It is my job to be a comfort to my husband! To love him, to build him up, to speak kindly to him, to make sure he knows how I respect, love and honor him. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own angst over one thing or another, I forget that I promised 22 years ago to love and cherish this very good man.

I like what Elizabeth says in Pride and Prejudice after she has become engaged to Mr. Darcy: "My good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible." This is how I feel about marriage. I am the protector of all of my husband's good qualities and it's my job to notice, to promote, to celebrate them all. I also wish to ignore, forget and never think about any possible "weakness" or "bad" quality that he might have. In my eyes, he will be a hero, my forever sweetheart and partner. I love my man!