The Kid Contract

My baby turned 10 this week. Sigh.

This same baby has been testing his boundaries lately. You know, sometimes he's an angel and sometimes he's...... not.

So I sat him down the other day and explained the contract between parents and chidren:

A parent's responsibility: to love, nurture, feed, protect, teach and in every way take care of the child.

A child's responsibility: To be loving, obedient and respectful in return.

If someone fails to fulfill the terms of the contract, the relationship between parent and child suffers and the structure of the family is weakened, making it more difficult for everyone to fulfill his/her role in the family.

For example, if a child becomes defiant and refuses to be obedient, then it tempts a parent to show less love and causes that parent to, perhaps, feel a lessened desire to nurture, feed, protect, etc. Or if a parent is surly and unkind, a child will not feel motivated to be obedient and respectful. This, in turn, creates tension and unhappiness that everyone in the family can feel. Everything deteriorates when one member doesn't take his place in the family as he should.

So if we want a strong family, we each have to understand our place in the family and we have to fulfill our contracts.

And I don't buy this "I never signed any contract" garbage (not that I've heard that one yet, but I'm getting ready for my reply, just in case:D). If I'm doing the Mom thing, then he/she must do the kid thing. That's how it works.

An idea like this helps me to preserve my sense of person-hood. I need to be considered as part of a parent/child team in order to be happy. If I am treated like a piece of furniture, then I am unhappy. My idea of motherhood did not incude losing the sense of being a person who should be valued and loved and taken care of in return for my contributions to the ones I am responsible for serving.

So. Did my baby listen? Yes. Has he become miraculously obedient and respectful? Not yet. :D But he will. I'm gonna drill it in his head and love him to death. He'll get it in the end. The other three have--mostly. So he will too. Plus he's a sweetheart with a tender heart and he loves his mom, so he'll get there.

And. Did I mention it has been 10 years since my last child was born. 10 years! Yes, I believe I did mention that. Sigh. Life just keeps on getting better.