Think of your favorite book or movie. Chances are that its plot is centered around some sort of miscommunication. Either someone lied, withheld information, misunderstood or in some other way miscommunicated with someone else and hey presto! You've got a plot. Any movie, any book--well, some adventure movies MAY be based on something other than a miscommunication. But generally, if there's dialogue, there's miscommunication that drives the plot.
[And okay, I'll make another possible exception for some sci-fi or fantasy. When there's a clear bad vs. good conflict, then that conflict will drive the plot and it's possible that any dialogue-based miscommunications could be just added subplots. Although...many of the sci-fi/fantasy elements in books and movies are just window dressing for a plot that revolves around--you guessed it--miscommunications, especially lots of secrets. Sci-fi/fantasy loves secrets, especially ones lost in the past]
Some of my favorites:
Pride and Prejudice--Mr. Bingley is MISINFORMED and so leaves Jane, who ASSUMES that he didn't love her. Elizabeth's initial negative impression of Mr. Darcy is hardened into positive dislike by the abovementioned MISUNDERSTANDING between Bingley and Jane (which Darcy furthered) and also by the LIES of Wickham.
Dear Frankie (movie)--Frankie is LIED to by his mother. Finally she has to pay someone else to LIE too. And Frankie himself is deaf, so his existence is peppered with communication problems.
Strictly Ballroom (movie)--Dad and Mom keep SECRETS, and the big guy (Mr. Fife) just out and out LIES--in fact Mom and Dad have been at odds for years because of this initial big LIE. And Scott never EXPLAINS what's going on to Fran, he just sort of leaves her behind. And she ASSUMES he's just a scared jerk.
Nine Coaches Waiting (book)--the family lives a LIE, she ASSUMES Raoul is a murderer because of someone's LIES
Galaxy Quest (movie)--The whole plot is based on a series of MISCOMMUNICATIONS, starting with the first biggie: the Thermians are telling the truth, but the Commander ASSUMES they are acting a part.
North and South (book/movie)--The main action in the book pivots around the LIES, ASSUMPTIONS and MISUNDERSTANDINGS between the masters and the workers. And the biggest falling out between the main characters is based on a SECRET and an ASSUMPTION.
Any mystery: LIES--of the criminal, of those that seek (mistakenly or on purpose) to protect him/her, SECRETS--all those dirty little secrets that the suspects keep for one reason or another, etc etc.
I could go on and on; I'm having a lot of fun. I'm thinking, however, that this might not be as fun for a reader. So I'll reign myself in.
Imagine if everyone in fiction or film always told the absolute truth and made sure before they left the scene that they and their feelings and intentions were absolutely clear. How boring our entertainment would be! :)
And think of the major "incidents" in your own relationships, or perhaps the ongoing irritations you have with a relationship. I'll bet that in many cases it's a communication-based problem.
The times I've been angry or hurt or embarrassed almost all have something to do with something someone said, something I said, something I misinterpreted, something someone ELSE misinterpreted, something I assumed (but that wasn't accurate), something that someone failed to listen to or refused to understand, etc etc.
Many times the problem is just that a person can't seem to say what they really mean or what they really feel, leaving their co-communicant (is that a real term?) just guessing at things, making assumptions based on their OWN feelings and thoughts (that's a risk, isn't it?). There's been a lot written about the different "languages" of men and women and even adults and teenagers. That's just another way of saying that people misunderstand each other all the time.
Sometimes a person just plain doesn't WANT to communicate (gasp!).
I find this whole idea of communication and its being at the root of most (if not all) troubles very interesting. I, myself, am very interested in communication. I have almost an obsession with it. I feel frustrated when I read a book or watch a movie where the whole situation is messed up because a person didn't open their mouth and say something that needed to be said. I hate unnecessary secrets. When I or my children are involved in clubs, teams or other organizations I feel frustrated when there is little or no communication about events or plans or activities. The "silent treatment" would be the ultimate torture to me.
So I think that in a perfect world, perhaps perfect communication will be the cornerstone of a perfect understanding. No lies, nothing important unsaid, everyone understood and understanding.... until then, however, I think I am doomed to talk around issues, to malaprop, to withhold critical information, to say things I don't mean, to be misunderstood and to misunderstand, to assume, to imply, to mistakenly mislead, to fail to communicate or fail to be communicated with in a thousand different ways.
And this is why I can never write a book. The miscommunications required to drive a really good plot would DRIVE ME INSANE. I just don't think I could do it. Sigh.
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