Good for what ails me

Oh, how I love potato chips. The smell, the taste, the texture... I love it all. A perfect day to me still seems like spending most of it sitting my deep velvet chair by the open french doors, a warm scented breeze brushing in, the hills green in the distance, a book in my lap (2 more in a pile beside me) and a tall glass of ice water on the side table AND an open bag of chips within reach of my (non-page-turning) hand. Sigh. This is often what I long for, but I know from sad experience that this kind of indulgence only leads to regrets--in the form of mental anguish (guilt) and stomach distress (all those chips!!).

And yet, even though I know how I'll feel if I spend an afternoon eating chips and reading... when I feel worried or afraid or sad, that scenario calls to me at the top of its lungs. I hear it today. But I won't be answering its call. For one thing, I have no chips in the house. But that's easily solved. No, today I won't answer the call because lately junk food really hurts. And having sacrificed precious energy to several sleepless nights over the last weeks and months because of accidental indulgences (I just wasn't paying attention and my body has become far more picky!), I am absolutely firm in my choice to avoid the fat laden food that my mind is calling out for today.

I read a couple of books lately, too, that have really affected my thinking about emotional eating. First was a book I really disliked called Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. Couldn't stand the author's voice, but I got one really powerful idea out of it and that is that when I overeat or eat something that is bad for my body, I am numbing a feeling that I don't want to deal with. From a previous book I already understood that eating beyond hunger becomes feeding the mind rather than feeding the body. Now I have a clearer idea of why I've been wanting to ignore what my body prefers and why I've been wanting to feed my mind. Now I can clearly see that when I want to eat potato chips, it's never about hunger--it's because I want to numb a feeling I'm having and am not prepared to resolve.

A not unreasonable desire, it seems to me. I'm perfectly capable of dealing with feelings. But sometimes, it's just not the right time, or I'm just not ready to bring that one out of the dark. And chips are the right answer. Or so it has seemed to me for years.

The second book I learned something significant from on this topic was The End of Overeating by David Kessler. He showed that eating fatty foods induces the body to crave more fatty foods. Once I read that, I immediately saw how it works with my own eating habits. Fat leads to more fat. I felt it myself. So that put me on my guard in regards to eating the high fat foods that taste so good. It's just like starting a chain reaction. Of course, knowing this, and observing it in my own body, it's a lot easier to shut down the cravings. I eat chips with my sandwich and when the serving I've given myself is gone, I want more. Since I know it's just fat calling to fat it's a lot easier to just say "no".

So I'm off chips as a cure for what hurts in my heart. Cuz it just creates a bigger hurt in my body. But now I'm a little bit at a loss. What do I do with these feelings that I'm not ready to take out and sort through right now? I feel worried today about a problem I'm not going to be able to solve in the near future. I want chips. I want a long book and a soft chair. Not gonna happen. My options?





















These do help, even without the chips.


So does this.
This would undoubtedly help, but why is it always a little bit down on the list? I think it's because with a book, playing the piano or chips, I know just what I'll get. On the other hand, God's answers are always the BEST for me, but not always the most expected or even the most palatable. I expect that's because I need more practice aligning my will with His. But that's a whole other subject. At least I know I can access His peace, even if He doesn't always bless me with the immediate solution I'm wishing for, right?
This works for me too, especially when it's accompanied by the perennial escapist choice:



Some other things I'd like to try:



And maybe even:
If I get really desperate.


Yes, there are definitely other options besides potato chips. And yet, that's still what my emotions cry for when I'm worried or upset. I guess it will take awhile to change that pathway. I've been walking it for a lot of years. Meanwhile, I still feel worried today... what palliative shall I choose this afternoon?